


No Wishes

by brothergrimace1



Category: Daria - Fandom
Genre: Heavy Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 07:44:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11732631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brothergrimace1/pseuds/brothergrimace1
Summary: Daria meets a Genie. She's offered three wishes. It goes about as well (for the Genie) as you'd expect.





	No Wishes

 

 

  
  
  
As the cloud of constantly-shifting colors reformed into a jaw-droppingly handsome Arabic man (even more surprisingly, he was dressed in a steel-gray Armani suit that made the amazement in Jane's eyes turn into an entirely different emotion), Daria yawned, turned, and dossed the dusty lamp over her shoulder as she started away.  
  
****"WAIT!"****  The Genie's voice boomed through the two girls. ****"You have rubbed my lamp - and now, I must grant you**** ** _ ** _three_**_** ** **wishes**** ** **!"****  
  
(Jane was certain that she was going to remember the sound of the Genie's voice that night, once she got back home, locked her bedroom door, and started to play the loudest music she had. God, did he look good in that suit-!)  
  
Daria kept walking.  
  
"Daria - genie? Three wishes? Think of what you could do!"  
  
The bespectacled one didn't even slow her pace. "There's nothing he can do for me that I can't do for myself."  
  
****"**** ** _ ** _REALLY_**_** ** _ ** _?_**_** ** **Allow me to**** ** _ ** _illuminate_**_** ** **-"****  
  
"Robin Williams did it better, when I was just a little girl. Go away - and that's not a wish. Just go away."  
  
****"That was just a fantasy! Let me show you-"****  
  
" The door. Thank you. Goodbye."  
  
"Daria... I think you're overlooking-"  
  
"Let's count them down. Escaping from Lawndale High and Lawndale? Two words - __Graduation Day.__  Family? My parents are weird but harmless, Aunt Amy has her moments of cool, Quinn's letting her head slide out of her butt and into the light of common sense, and I have someone who I can actually talk to when things get bad. Yes, you. Anything I could actually want - I can get on my own. Even if I wanted money, I could just go and let Tom give me a ring. "  
  
"Wow. you've thought this through."  
  
There's a third option a girl can go for when she's taking a very long shower."  
  
"Really, Daria? You had to go there?"  
  
"Next time I spend the weekend over at your house, don't spend fifty-three minutes in the shower and use up all the hot water."  
  
"Hey! Those natural oil-based finger paints smell all orangey!"  
  
****"May I continue!"****  
  
"My feet were wondering the exact same thing. Later."  
  
The girls had barely moved three feet when the genie appeared before them.  
  
****"But are you...**** ** **happy**** ** **?"****  
  
"Seeing the color Jane gets when she looks at you for more than three seconds does bring me joy."  
  
"DARIA-!"  
  
****"But what about you?"****  
  
"Don't flatter yourself. You're attractive and the suit's a good fit - but male models are all over the place."  
  
"Mack would look good in that suit..." Jane thought aloud.  
  
The Genie looked at his hand. ****"Your unhappy nature sings out from your every pore like an angelic choir dedicated to a chorus of sorrow. I can feel your pain at the world around you; the way it disappoints you at every turn, how even you yourself are unable to live up to the impossibly high standards you set for all around you."****  
  
Daria stopped.  
  
****"As you have matured, you have come to accept the truth of all that live: the world is gray. There are no clear-cut choices; everything you do is shrouded in a mist of uncertainty, and the knowledge that no matter the course you take through your life, you will cause someone pain... someone who was undeserving, and who should have had so very much more..."****  
  
The Genie lay his handsome head upon Daria's left shoulder; he looked up at her with eyes that could unlock any chastity belt ever made. ****"I could help you with that. Bring you peace, so to speak."****  
  
"No."  
  
****"How about I go back to your past? I could ensure that your parents had better jobs, and the resources and time necessary to ensure that you and your sister were raised in the best, and the happiest, of homes."****  
  
"You could do that."  
  
Daria gently removed the Genie from her person. "You could do so many wonderful things to make me happy. Yeah. You could do that. You could go back and change things around for me."  
  
She started to walk away once more. "But that Daria Morgendorffer wouldn't be ****me****. Go find someone else and screw with their life. Good or bad, this is my life - __and I'll just__ _ _deal__ _ _.__ "  


  
**END**

 

 

2 June 2013

 


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